Disenfranchised Grief

            Disenfranchised grief comes from the pain of a significant loss that society does not acknowledge or is socially unacceptable (Cisney & Ellers, n.d.).  When individuals do not deal with grief in a healthy manner, it can add stress, which can take a physical and mental toll on their lives.  Dealing with grief in a healthy manner can help one move through the grieving process and move them to accepting the grief in a quicker and more efficient manner.

            When death involves the loss of something that is not a person, society says the relationship is not important.  Grief is not acknowledged or acceptable.  This may happen when a person’s relationship to the deceased is not as a “blood” relative, immediate family, or distant.  Society dictates that we should grieve immediate family members, and employers often grant bereavement leave for a short period of time to help the person “get over” the loss.  When the death involves a relationship that is not so socially important, such as the death of a pet, a dream, a divorce, health, or lifestyle, society may not be so accepting.  For many people, a pet is considered a member of the family and the loss can be similar to the loss of an immediate family member.  Single people and the elderly, who have a deeper attachment to their pet, may suffer a great deal more from the loss (Cisney & Ellers, n.d.).  Divorces are often stigmatized by the faith base community and may cause shame and isolation to the parties involved.

            Recovery from disenfranchises grief can be difficult, but it is not impossible.  I would offer the following suggestions to anyone suffering from disenfranchised grief:

·         Acknowledge the loss is true and significant and your loss is no less valid than a “traditional” loss

·         Remind yourself you are worthy of time and space to grieve

·         Remind yourself that you are not alone

·         Create a ritual and seek personal ways to explore grief (prayer, meditation, journaling)

·         Assess your support system

·         Support others who are experiencing disenfranchised grief

Reference

Cisney, J & K. Ellers (n.d.). Lost grievers: Helping people through unrecognized losses [Video file]