Failure to Launch

            There are many reasons found in research for young adults failing to achieve independence and become solely self-sufficient.  The term failure to launch describes those adults who are living with their parents well into their 20’s and 30’s.  Economic and sociocultural changes have caused some of these individuals to postpone their transition into assuming adult responsibilities, while others are pressured by parents to remain at home and pursue higher education goals.  The term emerging adulthood is frequently used to describe this transitional period of exploration, instability, possibilities, and self-focusing (Kins & Byers, 2010).

            In the past, role shifts including marriage and parenting have signified a transition into adulthood.  This is the period that was considered to be when a boy became a man and a girl became a woman.  There is a trend in the United States that requires a higher level of education for quality employment, and combined with increased educational costs, there is a greater attraction to prolonged dependence on parents because of stability.  While these adults no longer view themselves as adolescents, they find it difficult identify as adults.  Because of the traditional societal definitions, they are identified as being in emerging adulthood.  Those persons who identify themselves as being in emerging adulthood identified accepting responsibility for themselves, making independent decisions, and becoming financially independent as the indicator of being adults (Kins & Byers, 2010).

            Many times, the forgotten question is, “What is motivating a young adult to move on?”  Are they running away from something such as a perception of parental control, or self-doubt, or are they running toward the excitement of the unknown (Sanderson, Skirbekk, & Stonawski, 2013).  Moving away from parents can be an extremely stressful time and a predominant reason for staying home is safety.  The ability to sleep all day and play video games all night, experimenting with different jobs without settling into a career path, and having a predictable routine are other reasons for young adults to stay home (Sanderson, et al., 2013).  Parents also have their own reasons for wanting their children to stay home, such as worrying whether their children will be able to interact socially with others while being able to perform academically.  They also worry about whether they will be responsible enough to get to classes or work on time, homework assignments done, and proper rest and nutrition.  Beneath all of these reasons are a lack of healthy family boundaries.  Healthy boundaries establish a bond between parents and young adults, while allowing the family to explore independence when some issues are absolute, and some are negotiable.  These boundaries allow for living in a “grey” area when learning to set priorities and dealing with the complexities of life (Sanderson, et al., 2013).

            I thought back to when I left home to join the Marines and I was reminded of a Bible verse that my father had sent me, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I  became a man, I did away with childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).  It was time for me to move on, to explore adulthood, and it was a time for my parents to trust me to make adult decisions.  I believe many parents today are scared to let their children make these adult decisions and this fosters an environment that promotes a failure to launch.

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References

Kins, E., & Beyers, W. (2010). Failure to launch, failure to achieve criteria for adulthood? Journal of Adolescent Research, 25(5), 743-777.

Sanderson, W. C., Skirbekk, V., & Stonawski, M. (2013). Young adult failure to thrive syndrome. Finnish Yearbook of Population Research, 48, 169-187.