Confronting Sin in Christian Counseling

            Sensitive Christian counselors cannot automatically confront sin in the in the life of the counselee even if it is obvious sin.  People do not come to counseling because everything in their life is fine and they are emotionally healthy.  When someone comes for counseling it is because they have a need in their life that is not being fulfilled (McMinn, 2011).  Confronting an individual in the opening session or before a therapeutic relationship has been established with trust may do more harm to the individual and prevent healing.  Counselors have to ask themselves first if the confrontation is in the best interest of the client and would it do more harm than good to confront them.  I believe doing no harm and a counselor’s self-awareness may be the most overlooked areas.  Counselors frequently hear traumatic stories from their client’s lives and even some stories that may seem trivial to the counselor but are major stressors to the client.  When a counselor forgets to check their motivations and attitudes they may lose empathy for their client and cross the line of doing more harm to them than good (Liberty University, n.d.)

            In Jane’s case, she presents with a lifetime of exposure to traumatic events from her biological parents and through many foster families until she is raised by the pastor and his wife.  Jane’s lack of attachment sent her into a promiscuous lifestyle that led to her pregnancy and when she was confronted by the pastor’s wife, she secretly got an abortion because of the guilt that she carried.  Her current behaviors involve an attempted suicide and I would not advise confronting her with direct censure early in the counseling relationship.  It may also never come in to play, as McMinn (2011) states that it should be used carefully and he has rarely used it.  Using silence in the beginning of the relationship would be a good tactic to use in the early stages of the relationship.  This allows Jane to feel as if she is being heard and it allows the counselor to appear non-judgmental while Jane has an opportunity to work through the events in her life.   Silence will also give the counselor time to pray for guidance and direction while being non-judgmental.  Pondering and questioning may also be helpful with Jane after a few sessions and a greater level of trust has been established. 

During the assessment process, much information will be gained and the counselor can get a feel for where their client stands.  Being non-confrontational with the client in the beginning will allow them to form bonds with the counselor and an appropriate confrontation can be addressed when the time is right.  Praying for guidance and direction from the Holy Spirit and listening for that direction will allow the counselor the opportunity for an appropriate confrontation.

If you or someone you know are suffering from addiction and you are ready to seek help, contact Coastal Wellness Counseling now for a free consultation.

Reference

Liberty University (n.d.). Counseling methods related to confrontation and confession [Presentation]. Retrieved from https://learn.liberty.edu/bbcswebdav/pid-12135699-dt-content-rid-96658722_1/courses/COUN506_D58_201620/Master/COUN506_LUO_8WK_DEV_ImportedContent_20141218015707/iSpring%20Presentations/Module%2007/Mod%2007%20-%20Counseling%20Methods%20Related%20to%20Confrontation%20and%20Confession%20%28LMS%29/res/index.html

McMinn, M. R. (2011). Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.