Forgiveness and the FREE model

            In Chapter 21 of the Ripley & Worthington textbook, the FREE model is discussed. Briefly explain the FREE model in your thread and describe at least 1 aspect of the model that you appreciate and why. You may or may not decide to use outside sources to support your argument.

The forgiving and reconciling through experiencing empathy (FREE) model is a forgiveness based intervention used with the hope-focused couple approach (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  Using decades of research, the authors discovered the more time a person spends trying to forgive others, the more forgiveness they will experience.  A forgiveness intervention can work with couples also, but it may not be successful if the offending partner continues to take advantage of the forgiving partner (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  Religious people tend to be nearly equal to nonreligious people when it comes to self-forgiveness, but religious people believe they are more forgiving than the nonreligious people.  Although forgiveness interventions are successful with adolescents to adults, it is not reliable for children under 11 or 12.  Teaching a child how to apologize can prepare them for forgiveness as they grow older (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).

The FREE intervention occurs through four steps.  First, the couple decides to reconcile and determines the how and when the reconciliation will occur. Next, they discuss how to approach the perceived wrongdoer for an explanation and determine how they can make a good confession.  The next step, detoxification, involves identifying a method of removing the cause of any distancing that could have occurred over several years.  Finally, the couple practices devotion by determining how they can include encouraging love and commitment into their relationship (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).

The second step of the FREE intervention  uses REACH forgiveness to help an offended person obtain emotional forgiveness.  The REACH model involves objectively recalling the hurt done to a person, using empathy to try to understand the viewpoint of the offender, identifying an altruistic incident when the offended person has been forgiven, committing to publicly forgive the wrongdoer, and holding on to forgiveness by not forgetting the hurt that was done but remembering the choice was made to forgive  (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  The stress-and-coping theory of forgiveness is the basis for the FREE and REACH methods and this theory involves stressors, appraisal, stress reactions, and coping mechanisms (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).

I believe the stress-and-coping theory is an important part of the FREE model and can help to produce forgiveness if the offender and the offended person can recognize the various parts (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  Stressors may be less or greatly severe but the evaluation of the stressor is more important than the severity.  Appraising the severity of the stressor can help the person determine if the threat can inflict physical or mental injury.  When a person feels threatened, their reaction to the threat may include freezing, fleeing, or fighting.  Negative emotions can increase the stress reaction and cause a person to be resentful or avoidant.  How the person copes with the injustice can determine if they will be able to forgive.   When the person can identify the hurt and seek an apology or justice they are able to deal with the stress reaction more effectively and return to a normal state quicker.  Unforgiveness may lead to several physiological problems and increased mental health issues (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  Using healthy coping methods such as accepting that life is unfair at times or turning the matter over to God for divine justice can increase resilience and lead to greater forgiveness (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).  This is important because it involves deciding to forgive and slowly coming to emotional forgiveness by replacing unforgiveness with healthy emotions such as empathy, compassion, sympathy, and love for another.  After deciding to forgive, a person may still feel unforgiving but the decision is genuine and what God actually wants us to do (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).

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Reference

Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.