Problems in the Marriage

Sexual inactivity in couples struggling with sexuality include unhappiness with the marital relationship, lack of shared activity, and increased age and poor health.  Keeping sex alive and avoiding boring, dull, or routine sex helps to promote healthy sexuality in the marriage.  Because the most important sex organ in the body is the brain, spouses must be in tune with each other to prevent worrisome issues becoming distractions (Balswick & Balswick, 2008).  Some couples may have difficulty being intimate because of unresolved conflicts and use sex as a manipulating factor to gain an advantage over the other.  While periods of sexual inactivity in the marriage is normal, they require mutual patience and support.  More significant in the marriage than periods of inactivity is a low desire for sex.  Whether because of biological reasons, medication, or psychological difficulties, diminished sexual drive can become a serious problem in the relationship.  Connection and engagement between partners can reduce anxiety associated with the diminished sexual drive.  Keeping alert to a spouse’s needs can promote affirmation, which is an essential part of sexual intimacy (Balswick & Balswick, 2008).  Infertility of spouses also contributes to sexual anxiety and problems in the marriage.  An element of playfulness in the relationship will keep the marriage from becoming boring and promote communication.  Another common problem with sexuality in the marriage is one spouse becoming a spectator in the act.  Most common with this type of problem is one spouse becoming self-conscious about their performance (Balswick & Balswick, 2008).

Perhaps the most common cause of infidelity in the marriage is a lack of intimacy.  When the previously discussed factors become predominate in the marriage, intimacy suffers.  Becoming unable to discuss each other’s wants and needs in the relationship, leads to confusion between union and emotional closeness (Balswick & Balswick, 2008).  Becoming involved in an extramarital affair gives the illusion to undifferentiated spouses that they are desirable, sexy, and admired.  Spouses must learn to face the various struggles of life and respect the interdependence on the relationship.

Reference

Balswick, J. K., & Balswick, J. O. (2008). Authentic human sexuality: An integrated Christian approach (2nd ed.). Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic.